Thursday, August 30, 2012

Are Married Couples Better Off Sleeping In Different Beds?


AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

So, things are set fair: you've found your perfect man, he's got down on one knee, and the wedding date is in the diary. To top it all off, you've even found the perfect place to live. But have you really thought about married life? I am talking, of course, about what happens at night. And by that I don't mean your love life, I mean your sleep regime. We all know that modern life is stressful. We're told constantly that we westerners work hard, watch too much television and rely on too many electronic gadgets to run our lives, and are slipping toward ever greater levels of obesity thanks to our refusal to exercise and eat sensibly. All this has a huge impact on our ability to get a healthy night's sleep.

So instead of slowing down and rebalancing our lives, as the media and the government tell us we should, we exacerbate the problem with poor sleep habits, leading to a self-reinforcing cycle. While research indicates that married couples are overall more happy and healthy than singletons, divorces and co-habitees, this increased well being can be compromised by poor sleep. Sadly, two Ian bed doesn't always mean happy sleeping. While the debate on the impact on a marriage of sleeping in separate beds continues, I suggest that in today's world of instant gratification the thrill of making a special journey to your partner's bed for some conjugal fun can help keep that elusive spark alive. Not only that, it stops those niggles about duvet weight, room temperature (who hasn't secretly opened or closed a window knowing full well their spouse won't like it) and late-night reading which can affect the most harmonious marriage. Don't think about twin beds, with chintzy covers and the air of the seaside bed and breakfast. Instead, if you have the room, use your spare room as a second bedroom, giving each spouse the space to regulate their sleeping without interference. No being woken by early alarms, no fighting over the duvet... bliss.

If the thought of separate bedrooms is too much for you, then why not try the halfway house: a king size bed (the ultimate luxury) and separate duvets? This neat solution retains the intimacy of two in a bed, whilst allowing each person a modicum of independence when it comes to temperature. Not to mention the unspeakable subject of 'who steals the duvet', surely the cause of more marital bickering than nearly any other individual topic?

So take my advice. Think hard about your life partner, about what marriage means to you, and about the gravity of the sacrament. And once you've done that... buy a second duvet. Marital harmony guaranteed.

Wickwoods Country Club, Hotel and Spa is located amongst glorious landscaped gardens in the heart of west Sussex. Offering an unrivalled lifestyle membership, Wickwoods has undergone million of pounds worth of investment over the last couple of years.

With comprehensive facilities covering everything from a heated pool, sauna, steam room, gym and even floodlit tennis courts, Wickwoods is popular location for spa breaks Sussex as well as a year round conference and special events venue and a top choice for brides to be looking for luxurious wedding venues west Sussex.


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Monday, August 27, 2012

Relationship Advice - How Would You Deal With Your Partner's Chronic Illness?


AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

When you get married, you don't think about the possibility of your spouse coming down with a chronic illness... in fact, it's the furthest thing from your mind. I'm sure you remember though, it's right there in your marriage vows: "in sickness and in health". You will find unfortunately, serious even life-threatening illnesses do occur and the spouse is the main carer.

One of the real concerns is: how are you going to be able to deal with any serious health condition your partner might develop and still keep your marriage strong and healthy?

When a spouse has a chronic illness, it can take a lot out of them as well as their partner. If their illness requires they be tended to, this can take a lot out of the "carer" spouse who is also having to take care of their home as well as their children who live with them. Often, the situation can cause both parties to feel depressed or even angry this misfortune has happened to them.

One of the best ways to deal with a chronic illness is to make sure you keep your communication open. You might feel as though you are not able to talk with your spouse about the stress you are feeling, as you can see they already have enough to deal with. But it is important you find someone to talk to. Talking to a friend or caring family member is a great alternative so you are able to express the stress you are experiencing also.

It is also important not to blame your spouse for their illness. In many cases, chronic illnesses are beyond anyone's control. Chances are the person suffering feels as though their life has been taken away from them. You will need to understand this... as difficult as it might sometimes be; it is even worse for them because they never get a break from their condition.

This is why it is important others be involved. If there is family or even close friends open to being involved, this is when you need them. Giving yourself a break is good, but giving your sick spouse a break is essential too.

Changing the routine is good for everyone involved and eases the tension of the situation... if only for a while.

You should have and show compassion for your sick partner in order to give them what they need. They will feel helpless enough... and will feel as if they are a burden to you. Remember: it could very easily be your spouse taking care of you. What would you want them to feel and show you?

Learn about yourself... are there destructive emotions at the heart of any problems you are experiencing with your relationship? If so, maybe you need to get control of what you are really telling yourself. What are your beliefs?

For nearly 25 years Beverleigh Piepers has searched for and found the principles to help you get to the root causes of the crisis you are experiencing.

The solution is not in the endless volumes of information you find across the internet, or the advice your friends give... it's in yourself; the thoughts that make you who you are.


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