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Married couples don't get married so that later on in their marriage, they can get divorced. No one purposely sets out towards an objective of disaster.
It seems that we live in a society where even the most loving and respectful of relationships are subject to the pressures of living, such as careers, relatives, economic issues, family conflicts, and other pressures that arise.
One of the largest issues is that many of these pressures arrive simultaneously, and then become more than a couple can process and solve. Many of these issues seem to occur and re-occur and it seems that there is no way to control the outcome.
Many couples are involved in their own separate careers, so they are apart most of the time, dealing with co-workers and customers in different settings, other than the home. When they come together after working hours, there is no time to "re-connect", which can lead to conflict.
We live in a fast-paced world, where results are paramount to keeping one's employment, so pressures mount and are, many times, brought to the home. Each spouse then has to sort and compartmentalize these issues in order to relate to the other spouse.
Under these circumstances, it becomes quite difficult to communicate and cultivate a marital relationship, as there is not enought time to spend together to create an ongoing and meaningful partnership.
Then when children enter the scene, the reality of the situation becomes more intense, robbing the couple of even more time to spend together. Dealing with child care, childhood medical issues, discipline and all of the other child-rearing responsibilities can, in many cases, be the tipping point for an explosion of emotional exasperation.
Couples desparately need a strategy for handling the day-to-day issues, focused on a longer term objective of defining what they really want to accomplish. This is difficult, in that the goals that were existent when they first married, have totally changed due to circumstances they never dreamed of and that they cannot control.
This is the time when spouses may begin to blame each other for things going wrong, when in fact, many of the frustrating events have little, if anything, to do with either spouse. The blame game, however, seems logical since neither spouse can't see that any of the issues could possibly be their fault.
This is where a third-party can be of great assistance, and take an objective look at the situation. Many issues can be solved by simply identifying them and finding ways to eliminate or rework them.
Usually, when people can take the time and step back to look objectively at the issues, they can work together and move forward. The key is to remember why they got married in the first place and attack the issues together as a team.
Annie Hershey has been a relationship counselor for the past 20 years. She works primarily with married couples who find themselves in turmoil just in dealing with all of the headaches that life throws our way when we have to deal with separate careers, children, financial issues, and more.
For additional information and specifics please go to: "Marital Strategies For Success"
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