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"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen
Marriage does not just come to an abrupt end. There are danger signals that have been ignored. When you observe something isn't right, it's important you deal with as soon as possible before it gets out of hand. There is bound to be friction because of our different backgrounds and temperament but when it becomes quite frequent, both couples should strive to genuinely work things through in order to save the marriage. Share with me some of the red flags which might indicate a marriage is heading for the rock.
There is a loss of trust: When a partner begins to question excessively the activities of his/her partner, which has not been the case in the past.
When friendly jokes easily and frequently becomes hurtful.
When there is constant nagging and argument: It's normal for couples to argue once in a while but it becomes a red flag when it becomes quite frequent.
When sexual passion and intimacy is at its lowest ebb.
A partner feels at ease or happy when the other is not at home or had embarked on a trip or when you feel sad each time you are heading home.
When a spouse becomes the last to know what is going on in his/her partner's life: When you become rather comfortable to share what's happening around you to your family members, friends and maybe your pastor and leaving out your spouse to figure things out by herself/himself.
A lack of interest in proper body care: When your desire to eat right, keep fit, smell and dress nice and look sexy for your spouse gradually wanes.
Lack of compliments: When you start getting tired of giving compliments for supports given because you think it's your partners responsibility to do so.
When you stop praying together: Couples who usually enjoys praying together now finds it difficult to spend time together in prayer.
Difficulty in coming to a compromise: When you find it difficult to agree on things and no one is willing to bend on his/her position.
When spousal affection diminishes: When a spouse do not show concern for the wellbeing of the other and care less whether she/he is sick or out of work etc.
Constantly lusting or in sexual relationship with someone else: When there is a third-party in your marriage whether physically or mentally.
Physical and emotional abuse: When your spouse who has never hit you before starts doing so or making you feel drained emotional.
When your spouse keeps his/her phone or other gadgets from you or when most times he/she steps out to receive a call.
When you wish you had never been married to your spouse or you wish him/her dead so you could be free.
How do you deal with these red flags? Promptness is the word. Don't overlook issues and allow them to go on for a long time without making efforts to nip them in the board. If you need counsel, don't shy away from this but it must be agreed by both of you. Above all, pray together. Couples that pray together have been proven to enjoy peace and longevity in their marriage. Make God the foundation, the pillar and the building block of your home and you will be sure of a blissful home. God bless you and your home.
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